June 2009
1 post
“Well then, you’re hanging around with the wrong everyone!”
– my mom, to my brother, after he insisted that “everyone” he knows [does something moronic]
May 2009
5 posts
“Teats. Minus one.”
– Abby’s graded bio test has a lot to say about the social status of women.
“You haven’t seen Washington until you’ve seen it at night!”
– An ad on the back of a city map of DC notes that a study of American politics is incomplete without an examination of its darker, more corrupt moments.
“Remember to change your name.”
– Mac printing tips in the library
“Did you consider light?”
– Signs along the Baltimore freeways advertising the light rail.
April 2009
8 posts
“Study the human condition across time and space.”
– Goucher academic catalogue’s Gen Ed requirements.
“Go sit in a hole. Life is delicious.”
– Lisa was actually talking about the cereal Life.
“Caution: bridges freeze before roadway.”
– The signs along the Baltimore freeways carry a warning about how to approach interpersonal relationships along the highway of life.
“Hold eye open and rinse gently and slowly.”
– My roommate’s Lysol bottle knows it’s tough trying to see things with new eyes, but if you take it gentle and slow, opening up to broader perspectives doesn’t have to hurt.
“Remove plastic overwrap.”
– In a bitingly post-consumerist statement, the packaging of the popcorn Abby made in my room yesterday comments on today’s society and its affectations of falseness as they manifest in our interpersonal relationships, calling for an end to the dehumanizing sterility created by our endless quest...
“Explore the significance of what you’ve noticed. Here, you’re trying...”
– From my ENG 200 assignment sheet.
“Select the location closest to your boarding point. Destinations are to the...”
– The Maryland Transit Authority schedule pamphlet has a bit of a Kurt Vonnegut feel to it.
“This is for all debts, public and private.”
– From a one dollar bill. 