Profundity: the quality or state of being profound; depth.
I believe that profundity can often be found in the most mundane of places; or it can be faked arbitrarily by removing the mundanity. I hereby present the Profundity Project, where I will take sentences from decidedly un-profound sources and present them as deep and life-changing aphorisms.
“ Well then, you’re hanging around with the wrong everyone!
— my mom, to my brother, after he insisted that “everyone” he knows [does something moronic]
“ Teats. Minus one.
— Abby’s graded bio test has a lot to say about the social status of women.
“ You haven’t seen Washington until you’ve seen it at night!
— An ad on the back of a city map of DC notes that a study of American politics is incomplete without an examination of its darker, more corrupt moments.
“ Remember to change your name.
— Mac printing tips in the library
“ Did you consider light?
— Signs along the Baltimore freeways advertising the light rail.
“ Study the human condition across time and space.
— Goucher academic catalogue’s Gen Ed requirements.
“ Go sit in a hole. Life is delicious.
— Lisa was actually talking about the cereal Life.
“ Caution: bridges freeze before roadway.
— The signs along the Baltimore freeways carry a warning about how to approach interpersonal relationships along the highway of life.
“ Hold eye open and rinse gently and slowly.
— My roommate’s Lysol bottle knows it’s tough trying to see things with new eyes, but if you take it gentle and slow, opening up to broader perspectives doesn’t have to hurt.
